An explosion between the legs?

Dad has always been a man that was afraid of nothing .. when we went delving into the depths of the shed, he never flinched as I ran screaming from spiders, woodlice and wasps. During my childhood Dad was always there to put his hand down a stinky waste water pipe and pull out lengths of toilet paper or God only knows what else. I thought he was fearless ... until today. Today I realised that there is one thing that petrifies my father ... and it wa sonly today that I relaised the true scale of the phobia.

NAPPIES ... normal unused ones, he is fine with, but any encounter with a filled one fills him with ... well ... fear .. or to put it a little less politely .. he shits himself!

Now I have always assumed that when Dad spoke of never changing a nappy, it was due to a chauvinistic "I'm not doing that, it's a woman's job" attitude. On arriving back from work today however, I found Dad carefully placing Zoo on his changing mat and very gently sliding his trousers down ...

"HE'S DONE SOMETHING!" Dad yells to Mum in a panic ... Mum yells over that she is coming (she is stuck at the door with someone else) and I dash across, yelling over at Cream to watch this momentous occasion. Cream fumbles in his coat pocket, trying to get his camera out to record the moment for posterity and Dad realising that he has an audience, puts a brave face on.

"So are you going to change that, Dad?" I ask as we both peer at the nappy, spilling over with the days excess food. Dad has managed to take off Zoo's trousers by this point, but besides a couple of nervous giggles in my direction has not yet said a word. Zoo has done a particularly spectacular job and there are hints of what is within with an enticing whiff and a slight discolouration to his undergarments.

Dad peers at the bodysuit for a minute and manages to find a tiny area he is prepared to touch. He closes the tip of one finger and thumb around a press stud button and tugs ... and tugs .. and tugs. The bodysuit is not giving up without a fight and Zoo who normally is fidgeting all over the place is motionless ... probably in shock that Dad is actually so close to his filled nappy. Dad refuses to adjust the positioning of his finger and thumb, the thought of an extra mm closer to the nappy obviously uppermost in his mind and he tugs again. The stud button finally gives way and Dad gets a full unobstructed view of the nappy ... and then the funniest thing happens.

With a look of real fear on his face, he stares at the nappy. And then without taking his eyes off it, he slowly backs away shaking his head slowly as though it were a ticking time bomb.