Where's your birthmark??

Whilst sitting round the dinner table, I discovered an itch on my blossoming belly ... gave it a good scratch and earned a look of scorn from my superstitious mother ... you'll leave a mark!! This obviously explains my birthmark then!

Mum looking guilty defends herself exclaiming that everyone has a birthmark ... I turn to my father with raised eyebrows and a look of disbelief ... my mother begins to tell me about Vertigo's and Goliath's non-existent birthmarks ... "Mum ... those are beauty spots! I am talking about birthmarks!" Dad contributes to the conversation conspiratorially .. "They say that if you ... interfere ... with your wife whilst there is an eclipse that causes birthmarks." Cream looks uncomfortably in my direction .. Parents and sex is never a comfortable dinner conversation and I am concerned about where this is going but take the bait nonetheless ... "And so it was your fault I have a birthmark is it!" "Yep .. must have pinched her bottom at the wrong time" is the giggled response.

I return my gaze to Mum ... "So if everyone has a birthmark ... that means you have one too then Mum" ... "Yes I do" she says defiantly ... "OK then, where?" She points coyly to the vague area of her more than ample bosom. Despite cries of "Prove it" and "Show us then" from around the table, she refuses to budge.

Now .. breastfeeding is perfectly natural and my mother has never been shy getting dressed in front of us as children ... we know where she and her sisters used to hide their purses ... It was the safest place, no one in their right minds was putting their hands down the inherited neverending cleavage. I cannot recall ever seeing any birthmarks on my mother!

We look to Dad for confirmation .. "Don't look at me ... I've never seen one ... If you haven't seen it .. what chance do I have!"