Noah's Ark

Finally, it's stopped raining!! I was a little concerned about having to gather two of each animal with the relentless rain and the fact that the garden was beginning to flood.

The wind didn't help matters much either ... this morning, Cream had to run down the road in his pyjamas to find the play tents and crawling tunnel, that he assured me would be fine in the garden overnight.

"But, it's really windy"
"We've got a brand new six foot fence ... don't be silly, it'll be fine!They aren't going anywhere"

The tunnel was found in the front garden and the play tent was six houses down on top of a car. Suffice to say, tonight they are weighted down with several very large boulders.

What's to be afraid of?

It's a Bank Holiday weekend and so far all I have managed to do is mow the lawn. "Thank God" my dad yells, "It was looking like a jungle out there ... but you missed a bit in the corner!"

I must mention here that Dad recently has become a little more critical than normal ...(Before Goliath goes off into his "your Dad's favourite argument", I would point out that I do often get criticised ... especially since getting married ... Cream and Dad enjoy ganging up on me.)

So while sitting in my garden he managed to fit in five "You should's" in the space of 15 minutes before I politely asked him whether he would like to make life easier on himself and just point out those things that I was doing correctly. He paused, gave the garden a look over and replied "If I think of anything, I'll let you know" Thanks Dad.

Anyhow last week, I learnt something new about kids ... things scare them .. now I know this may seem like a foolish comment, but after Zoo's various encounters with the coffee table, I thought nothing frightened him ... For a while the only thing that would scare him was Goliath ... he would bawl at the mere sight of him. Things have changed and now he lovingly calls out to his mamu!!

So when he started bawling at the dinner table it took us a while to figure out that it was the new fan that had spooked him. Managed to calm him down and let him play with the buttons for a while (whilst unplugged) and then let him carry it around the room and now he's fine, but it's amazing how something tiny can really set a kid off.

Mujnu was too frightened to play in Zoo's play tents and tunnels despite watching Zoo crawling through them with speed ... Goliath reckoned I should have just flung him in there.. but I know from experience that that never works.

My parents were of that vein ... we used to have a great outdoor swimming pool in Gladstone Park which we visited in the summer and I vividly remember my Dad's attempts to get me to swim, which involved leaving me in the middle of the pool with a float. He was sure I would suddenly overcome my fear, realise how to swim and paddle back over to the edge ... to this day I still can't swim and I am sure that I was so traumatised by the event that I refused to have anything to do with water for years after, including washing!!

Dad was positive that throwing kids in the deep end worked ... Another time I remember being invited to a boy's birthday party and so, being the only girl invited to this party, I cried and cried and said I didn't want to go. Finally Dad relented and said that it would be rude not to at least give them a present seeing as I was invited. So we agreed that we would take a birthday present over, knock on the door, give my apologies, and come back home.

Now in my more senior years, there is no way I would have fallen for this, but oh to be so young and naive again ... you can see how this goes, I climb out of the car in my party dress (I should have suspected something here I know) and with the present in my hand ... Mum and Dad smile at me ... I walk up the garden path, turn around to see Dad smiling and waving back at me ... ok, just give the present, say sorry, I can't stay and make my way back to the car .. easy .. even for me the most nervous and shy kid around! I ring on the doorbell, look around ... Dad still sitting in his car ... the door opens, a kind looking mother opens the door, I pass her the present and tell her I'm going home and she looks at me confused.

"I've got to go home, Dad is waiting in the car for me" ... I explain and as I turn and realise that Dad has driven off, I burst into tears. I'm sure if you ask Dad now, he will say it was character building. I suppose I should consider myself lucky ... Unlike Mum, at least he waited til they answered the door before speeding off.

Chubby Pakistani Dude

Just set up Goliath's blog for him ... Cool, even though I say so myself ... Check it out ...

Never eat brownies whilst watching Lost ...

How to get rid of welcome visitors

Goliath came round today with Mujnu ... and my birthday present!! Better late than never ... and although the box looked like it had fallen off the back of a lorry I saw the receipt and it's all legit.

Anyhow Zoo and Mujnu spend the evening playing with each other ... or should I say, Zoo spent the evening, showing Mujnu his toys, which were promptly snatched out of his hands, and then when Mujnu's attention was diverted to something new, Zoo would snatch them back and run off with them, closely followed by Mujnu. Hours of fun and tears there.

Anyhow I made biryani ... which is an indication of exactly how momentous an occasion it was ... and after eating, Mujnu asks Goliath "Are we going home yet?" My brother in true Goliath style, replies, "No, we have to wait ten minutes"

Those who know my brother will know the formula! Length of time spent at event involving food = From (dinner time minus 60 mins) to (dinner eaten + 10 mins)

So with bellies full of biryani & chocolate ice-cream Mujnu and Zoo return to their playing and I even settled the pair of them down to read some pop-up / musical books. Goliath finally decides to set off home and Mujnu decides he's having much too much fun.

"No, I want to stay"
"Don't you want to see Mummy"
"No, I'm playing!"

At this point I decide to intercede, "OK Mujnu, if you are staying, can you help me tidy up all the toys."

Mujnu looks around the room at the scattered toys, looks at his Dad and rushes over to the door, grabbing his hat on the way and yells ... "Sorry ... I've got to go home now!"

All love can be

I was reminded of a track that I used to sit and listen to when I was heavily pregnant with Zoo. As I sit here, listening to his gentle breathing, I am reminded of just how lucky I am to be able to sit here watching him in the darkness ...

I will watch you in the darkness
Show you love will see you through
When the bad dreams wake you crying
I'll show you all love can do
All love can do

I will watch through the night
Hold you in my arms
Give you dreams where love will be
I will watch through the dark
'Til the morning comes
All the light I'll take you through the night to see
A light showing us all love can be

I will guard you with my bright wings
Stay 'til your heart learns to see

All love can be...

Home Alone?

You may be wondering why I have been strangely silent these last two weeks when we have a huge media story about the young girl Madeline who has been abducted whilst on holiday. I must admit that when I first heard of the kidnapping, my initial reaction was one of astonishment that a couple could leave three children under the age of four, alone in a flat and then go for dinner with their family and friends some distance away. When I heard that they had turned down a 24 hour babysitting service, I was aghast. When I heard that the parents were educated, indeed the father was a renowned cardiologist, I shook my head in disgust.

I do feel for them and certainly as a parent I would not wish that experience on anyone, but I consider that they are lucky not to have lost all three children that night. I pray that they are reunited with their daughter very soon and that they find her healthy, unharmed and well cared for. The alternatives are unthinkable. But this does not distract from the fact that responsible adults thought it fit to leave three children, all under four in a room on their own. Alright ... so no-one suspects that someone is going to kidnap their child, but think of other scenario's ... a fire breaks out, a gas leak occurs, the place is flooded, in the blink of an eye a life can be snuffed out and it seems that the parents had not even thought of these situations. So they have a nanny at home who normally tends to the children's needs, but surely they realised that a child, whether awake or asleep should never be left on their own.

I am only too aware of what can happen if you take situations for granted. I am neurotic, thinking of every possible scenario when he is asleep in his cot. If I run to the front garden to empty the bin, will I trip up, bang my head and be left unconscious; if the door slams shut and I get locked out how would I get back into the house. Perhaps I am overly cautious but one thing I have learnt is that it is always the unexpected things that are sure to happen and I am only too aware of the mischief Zoo can get up to if you turn your back for a split second.

Ok ... we can't wrap our children up in cotton wool, but it is important to remember that none of us are immortal, neither us nor our children. Lives can be changed dramatically and permanently in seconds. The pan of boiling water that you think your child can't reach, the bottle of bleach that your child wouldn't possibly be able to open. Children are resourceful mites.

I distinctly remember when I was younger that we used to play out in the street with the neighbourhood kids, playing at being spies and using old matchboxes as walkie talkies. One day we were joined by a child, who must have been at the most three years old. We thought nothing of it and played for hours until it was time for everyone to go home. It was only then that we realised that he didn't know where his home was. We spent several more minutes trying to get him to explain where he lived without luck or his phone number and we were on the verge of giving up and calling in for some adult assistance when a police car screeched to a halt and a sobbing woman ran out of the car and scooped him up into her arms.

It transpired that the blighter had got bored at home, pulled up a chair, opened the door and let himself out. Now this was some twenty years ago that this happened and I still vividly remember the relief on the mother's face as she cradled him in her arms. I sincerely hope that the McCann's get to experience the same relief.

The press have glossed over the neglect aspect of the story in covering this story. I commend them for keeping the story in the headlines, but at what price? The Portuguese Police have the right approach when it comes to criminal cases and the media .. they refused to release evidence or information. However the British media made a hayday of Robert Murat's "arrest" and quickly branded him a creepy man with a twitching eye trying to wriggle his way into the heart of the investigation by being helpful ... obviously guilty. Now I know nothing more than the common person, but what I do know is just how easy it is for the media to paint a situation with a particular shade of colour or shoot it at a particular angle that distorts the true picture.

A media black out on any criticism of the parents, a media circus around Robert Murat and his associates. What happens next though if all this fizzles out, if no further leads are apparent, if the story begins to fade from the front pages and headlines. What then for the parents ... what then for Madeleine? The sobering thought is that other parents have been dealing with similar situations for decades, never knowing what happened to their children or where they are now.

Luggage Cock Up

Someone I know told me about their luggage cock up on arriving in Spain ... I assumed she meant that it had gone missing ... Little did I know that she was being literal.



I think she would have preferred for it to have gone missing ... the baggage handlers thought it would be funny to see someone hauling this through customs!!

Come over to the other side ...

I am trying to encourage my brother, Goliath, to defect.

He has a great blog which he started only to find that it was one of those free trial sites that shut you down after two weeks ... I mean I would never fall for a trick like that now would I ... (see my encounter with my "free" fancy blog counter!)

Anyhow .. he seems to have managed to get his blog back up .. I hope without forking out any money. So this is my message to Goliath:

BLOGGER IS FREE!!! NOT A PENNY!! NOWT!!!

I have saved your current postings and let me know and we'll sort you out with a free one mate!! Good to see you back!!

Evolution and coffee tables

I was always taught that evolution was all about animals figuring out what was good for them ... the "monkeys that kept eating red poisonous berries dying and never having stupid kids that do the same" type of theory ... Now I figured that this works for human evolution and the process of learning too ... young child burns his fingers after playing with the hot water tap and never goes back to the tap again. Now to me this makes perfect sense so I apply the same theory to my own son, Zoo. Only one problem ... it doesn't hold up! Let me explain.

Zoo has an arch nemesis in the house, no not the cats as you might suspect ... they have the sense to just steer clear of him ... it's the coffee table ... we have already had to clip it's corners with foam covers (imported from USA, only place that had protectors for bevelled corners!!) and after installing them and then reinstalling them with superglue we thought that all was now safe. That was until he started climbing on top of it instead of diving head first into the corners. So today whilst trying to manoeuvre himself onto the table he manages to roll straight off the other side!!

Although rather a nasty fall ... after 5 minutes of crying he was left with a small red patch on his head but no bump and just wanted an all-healing maternal cuddle. We sat quietly for a while reading a book and played a new game of trying to locate the "squeak, squeak" mouse in the pages and I thought just another one of his bumps and scrapes until 15 mins later when he vomited.

Now I know you have to be careful with head injuries so I thought I best check out NHS direct online before arriving at A&E unnecessarily. After clicking on the answers I panicked when I saw the "999 pop up" and rang Cream to get home now and ran around the house looking for my car keys. At this point Zoo is looking at me inquisitively and giggling and I wonder whether I've got this right ... so I re-check my answers on the website.

Is your child unconscious? No
Is there any danger of a neck or spinal injury? No
Did your child become unconscious or did they seem dazed or groggy immediately after the injury? - Oh shite .... I answered Yes instead of No.

Let's see if No makes a difference ... After another three questions I ascertained that unless he vomited more than twice than it was safe to manage the problem at home.

Emergency over and with Cream now at home after having sprinted across the park ... we settled down to a normal Saturday morning ... to see Zoo stroll over to the coffee table and try to climb up again!! What happened to evolution exactly!! Shouldn't he now be terrified of this coffee table ... I mean it's almost taken him out twice!!

You may now kiss the bride.

Zoo fails to understand the concept of catching the bridal bouquet and manages to nick the bride's veil instead!

Wedding season

It's official .. I am old .. gone are the days when I could stay up all night nightclubbing and then go to work the following day after an hours kip. I had two separate events I attended this weekend, on both occasions I was home before midnight and I feel like I have run a marathon!!

Had an enjoyable time though ... well sort of ... first event on Saturday was ladies only ... so I left my two men at home for a bonding session and enjoyed my first late night out for years. OK .. not quite Ministry of Sound ... with mum and Vertigo in tow but an enjoyable evening.

Second event was on Monday and I managed to turn up frazzled and fashionably (an hour and a half) late, with Mum, Dad, Cream and Zoo in tow. As soon as we got to the venue, Mum was off with the kid parading around her latest grandson to everyone and anyone within sight. I even caught Dad showing off to his mates that Zoo could wipe his own nose!

Of course within an hour, Zoo had managed to charmed all the women and half of the men too and then proceeded to throw himself into a game of "trains" being played in the foyer. "Trains" involved all kids from barely walking up to 10 years old, charging around the foyer after each other, whilst the parents looked on helplessly. Beside a couple of interesting moments when we were all sure that the game was going to turn into "fatal train-crash" and when one kid decided he's pop outside to see what those dodgy looking blokes were smoking, the event passed off without incident.

Zoo was exhausted but exhilarated at being up past 8pm and Mum and Dad had to be taken home at 11 o'clock, kicking and screaming with cries of "but we want to stay longer!"

The wanderers return

Nine o'clock tonight Dad arrives on the doorstep ... and as it's a well known fact that mum does not normally like being left alone at home at this time of night, we ask him where Mum is. Dad explains that he had dropped her off at Auntie's house half a mile round the corner but wasn't prepared to stay to listen to all the women chattering nonsense.

So we settle down to watch TV, check out the new fence (more on this later) chat about the upcoming family events, peer at the sleeping Zoo ... before we are disturbed thirty minutes later by a continuous chiming of the door bell and a pounding on the front door.

I open the door to a frazzled looking Mum ... "I found an angel" she yells waving frantically at an asian girl pulling away in a car. It would seem that when Dad dropped Mum off, he didn't actually wait to see her enter the house, so although the lights were on, evidently no-one was at home. Mum had no money and no phone but managed to make her way down the steep hill and get to the closest busstop, where she took the opportunity to take a breather. It was at this point that her angel turned up asking the "Bhagi on the bench" what she was doing out at this time of night on her own and offering her a lift.

PS. Goldie came home today too ...

Willie or will she?

We have been taking full advantage of our visitation rights to Goldie ... Each time he gulps down a handful of crunchies and some water and then starts purring away ... he's a nervous cat around people he doesn't know and absolutely loves roaming around the garden for most of the day so being in a little pen surrounded by strange faces and other animals for the last week must be awful for him.

As I arrived this morning the vet told me that Goldie had left me a little present ... a distinct wet patch in his litter tray ... hooray!! Not as much as there should be, but certainly a start!

The vet also mentioned that he was going to try an anti-inflammatory but that in difficult cases the only solution is surgery ... (the boy becomes girl type!) I suppose Goldie is a unisex name, DJ Goldie or Goldie Hawn, who's gonna know the difference.

I went to visit him in the evening and he had obviously overheard the vets comments ... his litter tray was full of pee and he made a concerted effort to dribble a little pee just for my benefit.