Valentines? Bah humbug ...

My Scrooge status is obviously well known ... Husband called to say that his mum had rang him to remind him to buy his lovely wife some flowers ... (gotta love the mother-in-law!) so he dashed down to the local florists, saw a beautiful bunch of 12 roses in full bloom with a bit of greenery and thought perfect ... he then tells me that he saw the price, and decided I would kill him if he spent £60 on flowers and so told the lady in the shop that he was going to see his bank manager to take out a loan! When he told me I agreed completely and said "well that's ok ... at least you got me a big box of chocolates didn't you?" ... "Oh shit" he replies .. now I can't talk .... didn't even get him a card so I was in no position to complain.

Anyhow got home to find that he'd been winding me up ... he had bought me TWO big boxes of chocolates!! The man knows the way to my heart!!

Please don't feed the animals Part II

Well I have finally returned to work after a year of maternity leave and part of me is glad to be back ... adult conversations, time to myself, lunch breaks!! I am lucky that mum and dad are happy to look after the little one and my boss (female) understands and supports the work / life balance.

Cream very kindly decided to take time off work for my first week back so I wouldn't have the additional stress of rushing around in the morning trying to dress, feed and drop him off to the grandparents. Had a great first day, couldn't get on the computer (apparently they had deleted me!) so spent my time catching up with work gossip. Even better, on my return home, I was greeted at the door with a huge kiss and a cuddle and after I managed to wrestle myself away from Cream (who now appreciates just how much work is involved in "sitting at home with the kid") I got a big smile, kiss and cuddle from Zoo too.

Since then, the grandparents have settled into their routine of babysitting. They vehemently deny it, but there are numerous signs of overfeeding ... not eating his supper, chubbier cheeks, more frequent poo nappies! When this was casually mentioned to them, Dad promptly blamed Vertigo for feeding him extra bananas. (Suffice to say Vertigo denies all knowledge.) I suppose I should be concerned about food flinging itself into Zoo's mouth ... however it does go to prove my assertion that when I open Dad's fridge, the chocolate bars have a tendency to unwrap themselves and force themselves down my throat!

My dreams come true

Despite being a year closer to a mid-life crisis, I enjoyed today at work. My colleagues gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a huge box of chocolate and I invited them to celebrate my ever increasing age and waistband by joining me in chocoholic heaven in the staff canteen. I was even considerate enough to provide a couple of low calorie / low fat options for those with a healthier lifestyle than mine!

However, forgot to provide a healthy pudding option at the birthday dinner round at Mum and Dads. Didn't work out too well for Mujnu, whose developing taste buds were having some difficulty coping with chocolate! I suppose it is an acquired taste!

The wishlist thing worked out great. I got a gas BBQ, Love Actually DVD and even got that plastic seal thing for the pressure cooker too! Got a couple of bits I hadn't asked for ... a beautiful bracelet, necklace and two pashmina shawls from Cream too! What more could I want for!?!

Wishlist (in my dreams!)

Talking of birthdays ... I suppose I may as well take the opportunity to publish a wishlist before Cream and I are inundated with calls of "what do you want for your birthday?" Feel free to ignore completely or combine together for the more expensive ones ...

Bathrooom scales - digital, memory function, solar powered, talking mode or remote display (hell if I can't see my toes I can't see the display either!) Must not have a body fat function!

Chocolate - any type, any size (darker and bigger is better!) Must not be Ferrero Rocher!

The plastic seal thing for my pressure cooker - God only knows where you get that from!

DVD - Love Actually (and box of tissues). The Manchurian Candidate. Any others. Must not be horror movies! No, I don't want to watch the Ring or the Grudge Goliath!

Hexagonal gazebo with mesh panels - I have been eyeing this up in the argos catalogue for some time now without success.

BBQ - Not sure whether gas or charcoal is better?

Littermaid LM900 with ramp or LM950 I do not seriously expect this to turn up ... but it's worth mentioning I suppose!

If I think of anything else I shall be sure to add it here.

The day after tommorrow

Well it has taken me two days to clean up completely ... Xmas day went well ... there are still some brussel sprouts left in the fridge, but most of the other food has been scoffed down ... no complaints of food poisoning yet.

Presents were exchanged ... everyone seemed genuinely pleased with what they got ... a few were upset when they realised that the chocolate dessert meant they could no longer play with their new toys and would have to wait until they got home to play with them further ... Goliath couldn't wait to unwrap his Captain Pugwash tape ... took me a while to track down but it was worth it just to see the smile on his face and Visa was handing out cigars after the arrival of his beloved gaming steering wheel.

Despite my requests for no Ferraro Rochers ... we managed to receive three boxes in total!! Although we have finished off two of the boxes I fear if I go anywhere near the third, I'll end up looking like one!

Played tension tower ... watched Goliath take a record ten minutes to remove one block, followed by Dad removing his block in 10 seconds flat. Little Mujnu was completely calm about his first family Christmas and entertained us all with his amazing musical bouncer for a while.

It was great to have everyone round and we have a lot to be thankful for. Especially after hearing on the news that up to 23,000 people have lost their lives after Tsunamis hit S E Asia. In scenes eerily reminiscient of the movie, huge tidal waves hit beaches with people clinging onto anything floating. In comparison, the fact that I forgot to get bread rolls for the soup pales into insignificance.

Didn't I just make that decision already?

It's not often that I have to make an important decision twice in the space of six months ...but here I am again. The proverbial chocolate bar in the fridge has now metamorphosised into three ... yes count them ... three seperate bars of chocolate. The decision is not made any easier by price as they are all the same. White chocolate, milk chocolate and dark chocolate.

White chocolate is out of the question! If it ain't brown it's not chocolate as far as I am concerned. (Please note ... this does not work the other way round ... just because it's brown does NOT mean it's chocolate. Trust me ... good lesson to learn!)

So I am left with two ... milk chocolate ... what I am used to, normal day to day ... or dark chocolate ... now that is a little special, rich and a bit more of a luxury. My recipe may be influenced by others so my choice must take that into account and of course the end product itself.

Will look at the recipe book on Monday ...

Do I look stupid!?!

OK ... Before Goliath, Vertigo, Visa and Cream post answers to the above question .. its rhetorical!! But there are some real stupid people on this earth!

Idiot number 1: Accosts my husband on the doorstep asking whether we are selling our property. Answer no. So he starts asking about upstairs! Husband fobs him off and he leaves his mobile number. I ring him asking him what he wants and he starts going on about being interested in buying properties (he's an estate agent then!) and wants to know whether I will extend the lease. I politely say no and he persists in asking questions. So I remind him that if he wants to buy upstairs he should go and speak to her! I wish him good luck and finish the call. He rings back and says "you're just an amateur property investor who struck lucky" Yeah ... and ??? So I tell him I'm not talking to him anymore because he is strange and so is the conversation and hang up. He rings back again!! I just pick the phone up and put it down immediately! Complete nutcase!! Probably a mate of Pinnochio!

Idiot number 2: ZTV customer services person refuse to speak to me about cancelling mothers subscription. So I ring back two hours later and say I am mum! Problem solved. Now they insist I can't cancel subscription coz the contract says I have to give one months notice and another months payments. What contract! I subscribed over the phone and never signed anything!!!

Now let this be a lesson to you all ... Both the above mentioned idiots are greedy money grabbing fools. Therefore it goes without saying that greeding after money makes you stupid. However please note greeding after food only makes you fat! Whilst greeding after chocolate makes you happy!!

Little Fish getting fatter in Big Pond

Well I've been in the job a whole week and I can honestly say .... I am absolutely loving it, its the sort of environment where you are praised for being proactive and taking your own initiative ... I have impressed my bosses by how quickly I have picked stuff up ... Of course, I still have three weeks to go and things can change ...

The walking to work didn't last long ... I blame Terry Wogan personally ... but I will try to walk in again when the weather picks up. A combination of lack of exercise and the thought of that chocolate bar in the fridge means I am feeling a little blouted! But who cares ... Little fish needs to get bigger!!

Delayed Pleasure

Well back to the chocolate in my hand ... Have decided to take Vertigo's advice (see comment to Blog doesn't revolve around you) and put it in the fridge. The company has agreed that I may take the new job for a test drive ... I can have it for four weeks and if I don't like it, I can go back to my old job ... Very nice of them ... I suspect that they are aware that once I've settled in , I won't want to return to the old comfortable job ... they may be right! So the chocolate bar is now firmly in the fridge. New job starts on Tuesday ... and if all is well four weeks later I can savour my chocolate!

Colonel Mustard in the garden with lead piping?

I should be happy today .. I have finally been given the salary which truly reflects my managerial position after a pay banding review ... this may have been quickened up by the fact that I have been offered another position ... perhaps it has nothing to do with it, except inflating my ego ... who knows ... Nonetheless, I am now left at a huge fork in the road .... down one side a dark alley where I can't quite make out any details .... on the other a relatively pleasant unadventurous but circular walk ... if I take the 'easy' route I will return to this fork yet again in time ... if I take the unknown route ... who knows. Have to make a decision this weekend! I have been delaying the decision for some time now ... it has been about five weeks since they offered me the job .. but they have been very patient and understanding about waiting for my reply. But there is only so long you can hold a bar of chocolate in your hand before it begins to melt away into nothing ... you need to take the moment and eat it or alternatively throw it away before your hands get dirty ..

Or in the case of Cream, there is only so long that you can leave a corpse under a flowerpot before the flies catch on. Cream returned home today to find a poor bird dead on the patio ... Now the immediate blame is laid on Pav, the usual suspect. It is unlikely to be Goldie, who has never caught a living thing in his life (except one horrifically large spider) and being the ever ambitious fisherman, is still waiting for the big one! He's always aiming for the fattest wood pigeon and never quite getting it. Sam wouldn't bother chasing things that she won't eat .. too much like hard work ... much better to sit and relax in the sun and wait for the food to come to her. So, all three are vehemently denying being involved at all. To be fair to them, there has been a tabby sniffing around ... it could be him ... or there is the vixen and her two cubs. In any case, Cream decided to preserve the scene of the crime for me rather than inter the poor creature or disturb any important clues. Thanks ... anyone for a game of Cluedo??