The hardest decision

It was only a matter of time and we both knew it. I had promised myself that we would not make Sam suffer and we took the decision today to let her go. Perhaps it is the fact that there is the promise of life within me that makes it hard to let go of another. Perhaps the fact that she was so brave and never complained til the end that makes it difficult to cope with right now. But more than that is the knowledge that she will never feel pain or hunger again ... just the abundance of love we have for her.

Bun in the oven

Yes ..excuse the pun .. but this weekend I have discovered what it would be like to be a bun in the oven ... rather than just having a bun in the oven. It is absolutely baking, reaching 30 degrees plus and the eagerly anticipated promise of thunderstorms never materialized!

Yesterday spent the afternoon round at Vertigo and Visa's admiring their culinary BBQ skills and playing with Mujnu. He discovered watermelon for the first time and sucked it dry of every drop of juice.

Was invited to go to Hyde Park today to watch my friend rollerblading .. can't risk skating now unless I have one of my Torvill and Dean moments again. So instead I spent the day being hosed down by Cream (willingly .. before you have images of riot control water guns .. there is a fine mist attachment to the hosepipe!) in between periods of lounging in the gazebo. It was so hot that even the lilies in the garden started wilting so I had to sacrifice my own needs and turn the hose on them before they collapsed completely.

Visited Dad as it was Fathers Day and marvelled at his green fingered neighbour who walked down to the bottom of his vegetable patch empty handed and returned with two bottles of beer! Got only knows what else he is growing down there!

Only another five months to go!

Most people have now been told or found out that I am "up the duff" ... one of my colleagues at work is taking great delight in telling anyone passing by the office that I am having a baby and now that I am 16 weeks insists that I pick up nothing heavier than a sheet of A4 paper.

Cream is taking a similar concerned stance and on a recent shopping trip to Brent Cross asked whether I was entitled to use a disabled parking bay yet!! Whilst there I must admit we did take the opportunity to pop into Mothercare. In my defence however I went solely to pick up my freebie "mother to be" pack, Cream on the other hand spent 15 minutes playing with a £500 sickly lime green pram ... which left me with no option but to tempt him away with a visit to Starbucks.

Besides the temporary colour blindness suffered by Cream, we have suffered few ill effects ... no morning sickness, no cravings and I'm certainly not blooming yet. My bladder however has given up the fight and I am now peeing at regular intervals. This may well have contributed to my loss of weight ... ok it may just be a couple of pounds but I am going to revel in it ... it's going to be some time before I lose any pounds again ... well in weight anyway ... I imagine with the possibility of £500 prams on the horizon, the financial pounds will be disappearing pretty soon!!